Posted by: nimbu | January 24, 2007

My Personal Reasons for Leaving God

My mom prayed day and night. A Muslim, she never missed a single prayer from Fajr to Isha. She pays Zakat and donates money to the March of Dimes, the local police, and anybody else that call her at 9 PM. She did Umra and Hajj. In the “eyes” of God, she should be the perfect Muslim. But in stead, she’s inflicted with cancer. Couldn’t God let her live, a pain free life? Couldn’t he just let her live well into her 90s and then take her? Why screw with her at such a young age? Especially to someone so faithful as she. Why is it that when you see a person on the news that’s lived well over a 100 years they say the same damn thing: “I drank a glass of whiskey every day and smoked a cigar every day. That’s my secret”. And you know what, they weren’t Muslim!

Her children are young and full of hope – but not in God. We’re hoping that she’s in the good hands of her doctors. Screw God! He does this to my mom and to MILLIONS if not Billions of others throughout the world!

Look at the big picture: Millions of Jews killed by Nazis. Millions killed in Rwanda. Millions (to be killed) in Darfur. Hundreds of thousands killed by Stalin, the tsunami, the earth quakes, the famine, the fucking malaria! Malaria! Where’s God? He’s helping Leonardo DiCaprio win an Oscar.

I want to thank God, My Parents, My Agent, My Director…



  1. I have a slightly ironic story in relation to yours: my mother smoked, and cancer took her just before I turned 13. She was a Catholic, and the only reason I had been going to church at all. Once she was gone, I could follow my beliefs without coercion and… there were none to follow. It turns out that years of church attendance, and Sunday School classes, hadn’t made me in to a Believer.

    I wish you strength and peace in these difficult times. 🙂

  2. Hey Nimbu

    I’m really sorry to hear that. I wish for her all the best medical advice and fighting strength.

    My mum is in remission at the moment but it was hard on us all and the effects of the chemotherapy still linger long after.

    Strength and Best Wishes

  3. I nearly lost my mother ten years ago due to cancer and remember vividly the grief, anxiety, and pain. My heart goes out to you.

    I too hope that your mother has the very best doctors and is strengthened by the thoughts, well wishes, and prayers of others during this difficult time.

    All the best;

  4. you know what i dislike about believers? that stupid cliche response of ‘there must be a reason for this’ or ‘god has his reasons’. i want to hit them over the head when they say that crap because if god IS responsible for all the misery in this world, then he’s a sadist and i refuse to worship a sadist.

    i’m sorry about your mom and hope the doctors come through.

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