Stupid lunar calendar. Apparently “God” didn’t know about how Earth orbits the sun! Every year, stupid, uneducated mullas argue about whether or not somebody saw the moon. Sad really.

I started this blog in January of 2007. It’s been more than 2.5 years and I’m surprised to announce that the most popular post is:

“why does god hate homosexuals?”

I’m surprised – yet not surprised. I can only imagine there are thousands if not tens of thousands of young kids out there struggling to figure out “what’s god thinking?” How do I reconcile my homosexuality with my church?

What’s wrong with me?

These are very normal questions. Many heterosexuals (probably in the billions) ask themselves that question daily! Really, no kidding.

You’re not alone. People all over the world a perplexed. What kind of god let’s this happen – especially to me! I’m a good person. I’ve done nothing wrong. Why me?

There are 2 obvious answers:

1. god really doesn’t like you.
2. god doesn’t exist.

Perhaps there are more than 2. I’m sure someone out there has created some middle ground in their mind.

I don’t want to hear “god loves you, but hates your sin.” That’s bullshit. I hate that response. Love the sinner – hate the sin. That’s how “Christians” dehumanize their hatred. It makes them feel better about themselves. It has nothing to do with love, or compassion.

Being lumped in with other sinners for being in love with another is sick. Two grown women or men loving each other is not a sin – it’s love! It’s fucking love, not sin. There’s nothing wrong with more love in this world.

It makes me sad to think that in 2009, this is the most popular post on my blog.

We’ve got such a long way to go…

Later,

Nimbu

When I was growing up in Pakistan, there was only 1 TV station: PTV. It was off most of the day (unless there was a cricket match). It would come on early evening and go until late night. It was, obviously, state run. Radio was state run. News papers were somewhat independent, but still very careful about what they printed. The government effectively placed a giant bubble around Pakistan. Only the very literate and interested individuals actually read magazines and newspapers from outside the country. This, however, meant that the vast majority of the less educated and uneducated were at the mercy of what the government wanted them to know.

Like most 3rd world countries living under an information blockade, people who wanted to find news, found it. The “underground” black market for news, information and entertainment was hardly underground. It was everywhere. But you had to go looking for it. So most people just went looking for Bollywood entertainment. Not news.

In the 90s, satellite dishes began to pop up like mushrooms everywhere. Every house had one. And for the first time ever, every Pakistani could see unfiltered BBC, CNN, and dozens of other entertainment outlets. For the first time, people saw how far behind they were from the rest of the world. India had totally won the more important battle – not for Kashmir, but for evolution. India had opened its currency and its borders to the outside world. The world welcomed them with open arms.

The internet put the nail in the coffin. Students from every walk of life (outside the madrasas, of course) suddenly had hotmail accounts, yahoo accounts and were communicating with the rest of the world. They too want to be a part of the world. No longer were they fed a constant diet of “Pakistan is the best”. Even though they heard it everywhere, they didn’t believe it – they still don’t.

When crazy religious mullas took over Afghanistan, only 2 countries recognized that government. PK and Saudi. In fact, the media portrayed these new leaders as moral, religious individuals who simply wanted to have a “pure” Islamic state. That’s what Pakistan was supposed to be: Pak – pure. So most Pakistanis simply believed that this was a great thing. How can a “pure” Islamic state ever be wrong?

Pakistanis never saw the brutality that was the everyday existence of Afghans. Up until just a couple of months ago, majority of Pakistanis believed that once again, foreigners had fucked up yet another “pure” Islamic state.

But once these religious nuts moved into Pakistan, things seemed kind of ok.
But when they demanded religious law – a lot of Pakistanis woke up and said “hold on…” While many others again believed that there was nothing wrong with sharia.

Of course there’s nothing wrong with Sharia. Or any other religious law for that matter.

These individuals never studied these laws. Plain & simple.

Most Muslim countries do not have “strict” Islamic laws. They have a hybrid system where they pay homage to the laws, but the never carry out. For example, most Islamic countries do not cut off hands of thieves. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen – it’s just not commonplace.

Back to the story: Pakistanis never felt the brutality of a true Islamic law system. It wasn’t until the public airing of a young girl getting flogged in public by “religious” people, that Pakistanis saw what a real Islamic punishment looked like.

Most still have not seen beheaded bodies lying in the town center. That day will never happen. Pakistanis, don’t you know, are actually quite moderate. The huge public uproar against these thugs was swift and uniform. When the media and some pundits sometimes looked the other way and never condemning, nobody came out in defense of the mullas.

No one. For the first time, ever – Pakistanis saw the true face of sharia law and it was ugly.

Pakistanis love their pseudo-religious lifestyle. They want to go to Friday prayer, but they also want to:

- Listen to music
- Dance to music (Punjabi people love to dance)
- Watch western and Bollywood movies
- Many like to drink
- Go to school (especially the girls)
- Get higher education (again, especially the girls)
- Get a shave (especially the men!)

There’s a lot more they love doing that would be outright banned by these mullas. And that’s just too much for Pakistanis to handle. Heck, it was too much for Afghans to handle too!

In summary: I’m glad to be back. And I’m glad that this time around, Pakistanis are standing up for what is right, not what is religious.

Nimbu

Good to be back in the saddle.

I know I said I’ve quit. But this I cannot ignore:

It’s hard not to write about the visit of the leader of one of the most destructive religions on the planet. I’m astonished to see how the news media just loves him (the Pope). He’s intelligent, sweet, little old man. But the media seems to not want to discuss some very important things:

1. The Catholic Church forces its priests into celibacy. Arguably, sex is one of the most important things in life (perhaps behind breathing). I know many people that if you asked them whether they’d like to have sex, a burger, or a coke, they’d pick sex. Sex is pretty important in life, and to restrict young men (priests) from doing it, is ridiculous. The priesthood has become some brotherhood of men who are gay, but cannot reconcile their religion and who they are. Unfortunately those straight guys who want to be priests are mixed in with these gay guys who are repressed. Even straight priests must find it annoying to constantly have to clean up after their wet dreams. It’s either that, or they secretly spank-off and just pay the price (penance).

1(a). When you have thousands of cases of child abuse under one organization, it’s not just 1 or 2 priests, it’s a lot of fucking priests. The numbers prove that this was no anomaly , it’s a problem

2. The Catholic Church hates Gays. Oh they “love” gays, but they’re going to hell if they don’t stop spanking other men. (or women if they’re lesbians)

3. The Catholic Church hates women. Oh they don’t really “hate” women, they’ve simply made them 2nd class citizens. They cannot hold any power in the Church. They cannot use birth control, therefore are at the mercy or their husbands (or God forbid, their boyfriends).

3(a). The same guy who thought it would be great for priests to be celibate was probably gay himself. Either that or was constantly thinking about women and found it a distraction. Or just kept the whole Adam and Eve bullshit going. Either way, men create religion and therefore men place women in 2nd class status.

4. The Catholic Church hate sex. This notion that your “seed” shouldn’t be spilled is fucking sick. Should I have felt guilty for having a wet dream when I was 14? How many babies must I have accidentally destroyed by spanking-off! It’s insane.

Most importantly, the Catholic Church continues to stand behind it’s moronic birth control policy. Now you’re probably thinking: “I know many Catholics that use condoms/birth control”. It’s true. Most Catholics in this country do use contraception. That’s because people in this country are smart. It’s the unfortunate, uneducated people of the 3rd world that are being screwed.

The Pope (a.k.a. the Church) believes that if you tell Africans to stop fucking, that they’ll listen. Instead of giving condoms, or teaching kids about sex and the fact that you can catch AIDS, or other VDs, they’re telling kids nothing (except stop having sex). Not only is it inadequate education, it’s fucking DEADLY! It’s inhuman. It’s mean spirited, purposely withholding knowledge from kids that you know could help them.

The kids don’t know they can catch AIDS or have babies by having sex, so they get pregnant. Or even worse, they catch AIDS. All because the fucking Church has a ridiculous notion that contraception is bad. Not only is it sad, it should be illegal.

You can see why I came out of hiding just to write this. Not saying I’m back for good. But this I just couldn’t keep in.

Nimbu

My original intent with my blog was to document my metamorphosis from non-practicing Muslim to full blown, flaming atheist. The tone of this blog has shifted away from just writing down my thoughts about atheism. I think my metamorphosis is complete. I don’t feel like writing anything regarding the subject.

Now that it’s been over a year of my new life, I’ve been watching the world without my tinted glasses. All of a sudden, I find myself surrounded by fucking idiots. I just heard on the radio this morning (NPR), about how some southern Baptist ministers are gathering folks in Georgia to “pray” for rain. Are you fucking kidding me!

This is newsworthy?

Was NPR’s attempt to show how crazy Georgian Baptists are? Or were they just giving equal airtime to the religious right?

I find it baffling that stories of god(s) still make it to the news. Fluff stories, no less.

What I’m trying to say here is that this blog for me is becoming depressing. I think it’s time for me to move on. Move on to happier topics…like technology, movies, music, etc.

As I write this, I can’t help but think about the daily traffic to this blog. I hope that I can influence some on-the-fence-Muslim to really critically think about their religion. Even if just 1 person is persuaded, I’m happy. I may stop blogging on a regular basis, but this site will stay up. I hope that more and more of my fellow Pakistani Muslims will start to analyze their lives, their country, their family structures, and most importantly their religion.

I will get the email notifications if people post, so I won’t be completely out of touch.

I remember as a youngster, looking at my fellow Christians and Jews with a superiority complex. Not only did my parents instill this in me, but every religious “leader” in my life forced/encouraged me to believe that every non-Muslim was just simply ignorant. They didn’t know the truth. They were beneath me – it was my responsibility to teach them the truth. That was my mission. I should be grateful to have been born a Muslim.

I see the same condescending attitude all around me. From Muslims, Christians, Jews, and even Hindus & Buddhist.

They look at me as if I’m lost. As if I’m beneath them. It’s their mission to “teach” me.

This is a really interesting role reversal. I’m digging the dark side…

My first Eid as an atheist was a bit surreal.  I was surrounded by hundreds of Muslims from all over the world.  I couldn’t help but walk around with a smile on my face.  I also couldn’t help but wonder how many of these sheep actually has read the Quran – in their native language!  Probably not many.

I also wondered how many atheists or agnostics where present.  I tried out my atheism-radar for the first time.  I think I spotted a couple of guys that were probably non-believers like me.  They looked way to “normal”.  Most of the people at this mosque where Pakistani.  But there where also many middle-easterners and Africans.

It was much fun.

Later that evening, we were at a family dinner where we were discussing the annual tradition of arguing over who saw the moon and when.  Should we just follow the Saudis?  They are the custodians of Islam after all.  No, one of the guests mentioned.  We should wait for the moon sighting.

So I proceeded to have fun. 

“Don’t we have star/space observatories all up and down the US?  Shouldn’t this be more scientific?  Rather than depending on rumors?”  I asked the guests.

I saw a number of heads nodding “yes”.  But not “HELL YEA!”

“What if one was in an airplane?  Could they spot the moon and ‘phone it in’?”

More nodding – perhaps a couple of chuckles.

Finally – “What are Muslims going to do when we start living on Mars?  On Jupiter?”

My brother responded “Oh, there’s a different God on those planets.”

Oh, yeah.  It was a fantastic Eid!

Eid Mubarak everybody!

Welcome brotha!

This is one of those strange moments for the new atheist: going through Ramadan with a newly opened mind. For the first time ever, I’m entirely guilt-free while I eat during the day!

Wooohoooo!

This was one of the most confusing and painful parts of Islam. I was given many reasons for its existence: From sympathizing with the poor to cleansing, to being closer to God. But growing up, I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t feeling closer to God. I was just plain hungry. Hunger with an extra benefit of stinky breath.

Oh yes, all you non Muslims. When you don’t eat or drink water all day, you get nasty breath. Uber-nasty.

It sucked.

I couldn’t concentrate in school. I had nasty heart burn all morning, because we’d wake up at an ungodly hour to gorge! I always thought it was insane to consume virtually the same amount of calories, just at odd hours. Doesn’t it defeat the purpose? I guess that wasn’t the purpose anyway…

Anyway…what was really bothering me was this: Why would God want you to punish yourselves in his honor? Does he get some sort of sick pleasure watching children as young as 7 or 8 try to starve themselves all day? What the fuck? I’ll give you another example: There are many women in my life and some of them are extremely old with various medical conditions. They all feel compelled to fast. It drives me insane!

I don’t go over there preaching, trying to convert them! I simply get emotional and tell them: “God doesn’t want you to punish yourselves like this. You’re in no condition to fast.”

But the Islamic mind is not thinking rationally. I know what these ladies are thinking:

“I know I don’t have to fast, but if I do, perhaps I’ll get extra-credit!”

That’s right, folks. Extra credit. All religious people believe in it. It stems from the eye-for-an-eye philosophy. Catholics are instructed to say stuff repeatedly and count beads…and that’ll make up for spilling their seed last week! Or for having dirty thoughts about their neighbor’s wife!

Many Muslims cling to insane traditions similar to the Catholics: repeat this phrase a gazillion times and you’ll get what you’re looking for. What?!? It’s true. My mom believes it…all of her friends believe it. And you can find it anywhere on the internet. The magic of prayer! With step-by-step instructions.

Back from that tangent…

I’m super glad to be eating. I can’t believe that people can be so well disciplined. To not eat or drink (or smoke, or screw) all day takes will power. Now if only Muslims could apply that same will power to making their own countries and villages and societies better.

It’s too bad that wasn’t one of the 5 pillars of Islam. Perhaps there should’ve been a sixth:

Pillar number 6: Please don’t kill people. Never. I don’t like it. I’m God telling you that I don’t want you to kill people. It’s never justified. Don’t do it. This is the 6th pillar of your religion. By God. It’s me. I wrote this on a very large mountain in every language…on every continent. In fact, if you look at your palms right now, it’s written there too…in your language. You know how I did that? I’m God!!! I can do anything. That’s right. This is the end of my 6th Pillar

I’m done ranting – now it’s time to eat!!!